Question and Answer

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Faggot use to mean a bundle of sticks

I woke up this morning to 3 interesting stories on CBC Radio Edmonton. This post if about the first story.

Last week ISMSS (Institute for Sexual Minority Studies and Services: http://www.ismss.ualberta.ca/index.htm  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iSMSS) with the University of Alberta posted a video as part of their NoHomophobes campaign to end the use of homophobic language.

In that week the video (below) has gone viral and been mentioned in places as far as the UK and New Zealand. Please watch and share.




Links to associated news articles I found in just googling for the video:

• Edmonton Global News: http://www.globaltvedmonton.com/video/no+homophobes+psa/video.html?v=2324284347&p=1&s=dd#stories
• Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/09/no-homophobes-commercial-anti-gay-language_n_2441597.html
• San Diego LGBT Weekly: http://lgbtweekly.com/2013/01/09/new-tv-commercial-confronts-use-of-casual-homophobia-video/
• Pink News (UK): http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/01/09/video-canadian-tv-ad-campaign-asks-why-faggot-is-considered-an-acceptable-word/
• Saskatoon Global News: http://www.globalsaskatoon.com/video/homophobic+online+slurs/video.html?v=2324179541&p=1&s=dd#video

ISMSS's NoHomophobes campaign also uses a website: http://www.nohomophobes.com to illustrate the prevalence of the use of the words Faggot, No Homo, So Gay, and Dyke in twitter posts. As of me writing this, the numbers for today are:
Faggot 8230. No Homo 2772, So Gay 2441, Dyke 900 - from just before I wrote "As of me writing this...."
I will now write the numbers as I see them when I get to adding them to the post: Faggot 8287, No Homo 2808, So Gay 2470, Dyke 917. (Note that was about 4 minutes from when I wrote the first numbers on a piece of paper and the last number just now.)



Personally I have been lucky and only had homophobic words thrown in my face once (that I recall). In the moment it hurt, and was a shock, but I ignored it in the moment because I had to.

It was when I was student teaching in a school for students with behavioural problems. I was escorting a student from the gym, where he'd got into an argument with another student and was told to leave before it got too violent. I was about 1-2 m behind the student - keeping a distance so he would not lash out at me, but close enough to show authority. When he stopped midway down the hall, and I didn't (slowed down though), he yelled a few obscenities at me, including the word faggot. Before he had finished saying all he had to say, and it wasn't all that long, 3 other adults had appeared from nearby classrooms to help with the situation.
I took what he said to me as not something directed specifically at me, but more at 'someone' - me being the someone.
He was informed, a day or two later, to apologize to me. As I recall, there wasn't much (if any) of an apology. Mind you I left the school about 2 weeks later due to other circumstances (namely that what the University wanted to see me do I couldn't do in that school .... proper unit planning and assessment techniques).

Web Intrest - web article: "I’m Christian, unless you’re gay."

One of my new regular weekly posts is going to be a link from the web that peaked my interest over the week. My plan is to have this every Monday with extra ones as I see them.

I think the first one is quite fitting for how most of my posts have been.

Although the title of the web article I link to is called "I’m Christian, unless you’re gay." It is not as controversial (in my opinion) as the title sounds. I can, and will, not try and summarize what the entire article is about, but the message is preaches is 'love'

Read the whole article here: http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html

I found this article from a post that a group I like/follow on Facebook. The link they posted was: A Teen’s Brave Response to “I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay”

That response is worth reading. I have not yet read the other responses to the original web article.

The group I follow on Facebook is: Theatre Offensive - http://www.thetheateroffensive.org/ - http://www.facebook.com/thetheateroffensive
I started following them when I was doing a drama course.

My Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Hugh.Kemeny

Spreading the word...

I follow George Takei on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/georgehtakei), and he posted a really good video today about the idiotic laws Tennessee is looking to pass.
I saw the video here: http://www.allegiancemusical.com/video/tennesse-lawmakers-we-need-chat


Tennessee Lawmakers: We Need To Chat from Allegiance - A New Musical on Vimeo.

Gay Marriage in Canada

I am a little late in touching on this subject, so if you did not hear the news last week that Canada nullified thousands of same-sex marriages of foreigners performed in Canada, then I'd suggest you just Google "Canada Gay Marriage Reversal" to get the full story. Below is my summary from things I have heard and read about the issue, to hopefully present as clear a picture as I can as a gay Canadian.

The issue about "reversing" the same-sex marriages came about when a lesbian couple wanted a divorce. They were married in Canada in 2005. They do not reside in Canada. This is where the fundamental problem arises.

I am no lawyer, but from what I have learned, most countries recognize marriages performed in foreign countries as legal, provided that such a union is legal in their own country.
So for example, if a gay couple were to get married in Belgium (where it is legal), and to move to Canada, that marriage would be recognized in Canada.
However, if a gay couple were to get married in Canada and move to anywhere else in the world where same-sex marriage is not legal, that marriage would generally not be recognized.
Therefore for many same-sex couples married in Canada but residing elsewhere, they recognize that their marriage is not legal in their home country. Though it may be used to help fight for legality.

Moving along.
Not all marriages are 'happily ever after' including same-sex ones. So it was when the lesbian couple wanted to divorce that caused all the hubbub.
Since they live in a place that does not recognize sane-sex marriage, the women came back to Canada to get a divorce.
Canadian law however requires that a couple must live in Canada for at least a year before a divorce is granted (this is due to all the custody stuff).

Now is where I bring in the last point about marriage, which is the foundation of the comments that the marriage of many same-sex foreigners in Canada is null.
"Private international law of marriage basically says that Canada only recognizes a "tourist" marriage (one where the couple actually has no connection to Canada) if the marriage will be valid in their home jurisdiction." from http://www.xtra.ca/public/National/The_samesex_marriage_matter-11363.aspx

Basically, even though their marriage was done legally in Canada, because they reside in a place where the marriage is not legal, then their marriage is not recognized by Canada.

This is where Canada is starting to change the law, to find ways around this.


For more on this topic please read any of the following:

• http://unicornbooty.com/blog/2012/01/12/canadian-govt-dissolves-thousands-of-same-sex-marriages-including-dan-savages/
• http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/story/2012/01/12/pol-harper-same-sex-marriage.html
• http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/01/12/canadas-conservative-government-turns-my-husband-back-into-my-boyfriend
• http://www.theglobeandmail.com/search/?q=gay+marriage+reversal&start=0

There is a good radio show about how same-sex marriage in Canada is an international game changer, with more information on same-sex marriage in Canada.
If you are interested in same-sex marriages out side of Canada, I'd suggest you listen to this.
http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/episode/2012/01/16/the-influential-reach-of-canadas-same-sex-marriage-laws/

Nudism and New links

I am a bit of a nudist. I feel quite comfortable being naked, and do not believe that being naked with / around others has to lead to anything sexual.

I don't recall when I started my nudist life style, but I do know I started it when I was alone and at home. I probably really got into it when I first lived by myself. Which coincidentally was after I 'came out' (why that's in quotes is for another post another day).

Since then I have been more and more interested in nudism, and it variants in terms (naturism, etc), and have found a few blogs and sites that share nudism in that open manner. When I find such sites I enjoy reading them and have now added a sidebar section for them.

There are however some that seem to cross over between naturism and gay interests. Currently I intend to only list them in the one section I think best describes their content (so they may move around as I read more of the new links).

This new links I read about on Aussilicious and are:
The Third Leg - which at this point I'm placing in gay interests
Active Naturists - under naturalist / nudist interests

Both of them I have only had a brief look at and like what I see so far :)
I hope they both keep up the good work.

Bill 44

As I mentioned a few posts ago, I really should have commented on the absurdity of Alberta's Bill 44....

Luckily a friend sent me this vid to point out the positives in the bill...

Queer

I AM QUEER!

I had a great post in my previous blog about labelization, and how I generally try not to subscribe to that, but today I have to mention about labeling myself as queer... well I don't have to, but seeing as I've had a couple ciders after not sleeping for about 38-40 hours, I might as well add a second post.

So tonight while I was out with beers with classmates, I felt a little uncomfortable saying my sexuality. I shouldn't be, but I guess living in the most conservative province in Canada, I'm a little cautious of what I say, yet on the other side my classmates should be accepting of my sexuality considering we're all going into the public sector, where homophobia is not accepted.

Labelization

Recently I signed up on the website MeetNudeMen.com, and while I was exploring the site I came across the forums and one on g0ys. Now I had heard of the term once or twice before (I wonder how it is pronounced: ‘goy’ or ‘g-zero-y’ or something else?). After reading a little of the posts I ventured to the main website: g0ys.org where I felt overwhelmed by the flashiness of the site (this sort of thing can turn me off a site; to me it looks like they are trying to sell you something you don’t need). Because of that, I only skimmed the site, and because I only skimmed the site, I am not going to mention much beyond my first impressions.

What I got out of my wanderings into the wonderings of what is g0y is essentially the following points:
1) That ever man has, to some degree, affections towards other men.
2) That anal-sex is evil (either M-M or M-F).
3) That society is pushing a narrow-minded view of what being gay is.

I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and belief, including what they consensually do behind closed doors (provided it is not illegal or discriminating against others), so if I may agree on any of their other points, I don’t agree on their view of anal-sex.

As research has shown that male-to-male bonding happens in nature, not just homo sapiens, so to has it shown that anal-sex happens elsewhere in nature. Anal-sex has also been around for centuries, and nothing new. During one of Western Europe’s most enlightening periods it was a common act. Mind you, during the Greco-Roman Empire women were not people, and slaves were common place. I do not say we revert to all that, but one should not say that because we have abolished slavery and recognized not only women, but those of different races, as people, that we should abolish anal-sex. Now I could go on, but essentially if all parties consent, then who am I to say that one can not be the slave of another, or have anal-sex.

The other two points I have mentioned I agree with what I read on the g0y site. Though I think I can sum up the problems of both in a single question: Why must we label everything?

By labelling we start to make assumptions, a label becomes a logo, brand, or icon for an idea, movement, or concept, one that is usually more complicated than the label gives credit.

When I was coming to terms with my sexuality (what many people would label ‘coming out’, but before that I was not sexually interested in either sex, though I was attracted to both), I soon discovered that many people who label themselves as gay are afraid of those that label themselves as bi. This, I found, lead to many saying “bi is the place where gay people are still in denial.” How comforting is this to a man who likes to be in the company of other men, they get the sexual energy, and might even do something with another man, but ultimately will go home and be with his wife? Gay people who say they believe that bi is only a resting point before discovering one is truly gay, are almost as narrow minded as the Religious ones who condone homosexuality in any form.

Now I know not all gay people are like this, but in the ‘gay world’ it is prevalent. Now by ‘gay world’ I mean the clubs and bars and places where society sees gay people congregate. And that only adds to the perceptions, as media love to give only what they deem to be news worthy and easy for the public to understand, so they tend to focus on the stereotypes.

For me, after a few months of talking with friends, and exploring some of my sexuality, I came to a point that I believed I was between bi and gay; as I viewed sexuality as a spectrum. Since that point I have clarified my definition of the sexuality spectrum, and show it below:



- Pure Heterosexuality: is by which a person only has feeling for the opposite sex, they are indifferent to others of the same sex.
- Pure Homosexuality: is by which a person only has feeling for others of the same sex, and are indifferent to others of the opposite sex.
- Bisexual: is by which a person is capable of having the same level of feelings for either sex.
* The meaning of indifference in this context: that the person would only have basic human compassion for the other they are indifferent to, they would not normally socialize with them, and have absolutely no romantic interest.

By my definition, I do not know anyone that is purely heterosexual (most straight men I know have male friends), though for purely homosexual people I know, I am not sure, but probably most of my gay friends have at least one female friend. Therefore everyone is somewhere in the middle. And I sit between bi and gay.

The world’s fixation on labels make it difficult for me to answer the question “are you gay?” when asked (though that question in itself should not necessarily need to be asked), or when telling someone I am dating my ‘sexual preference.’ This is because as soon as I mention bi, most people react with fear – like I would leave them for the next person that comes in the door, or that I am indecisive. And few I have talked with grasp the concept of the sexuality spectrum, wanting me to define, or label myself: “so are you bi or gay?”

Each of these terms, bi and gay, have their own stereotypes. I have mentioned the prominent one of bisexual already. I have found that if I say I am gay, quite often a follow-up question is: “you a bottom or a top?”

Now if you think it was difficult for me to answer: “are you bi or gay?” It is even more difficult to answer “are you a bottom or a top?” – needless to say I have not had much experience either way to label myself, including using the label of ‘versatile’.

The mere fact that the question: “are you a bottom or a top?” is generally a early follow up to identifying oneself as being gay (or sometimes even bi), proves a partial point of g0y: that to be gay one must identify with having anal-sex.

From what little I read it looks like g0y is just pushing more of this narrow-mindedness of labelization of society. It is unfortunate that being gay has the connotations of full on male to male sexual relationship, including the act of anal intercourse.

It is also sad to see people who claim to be open-minded and accepting of others to make others define themselves to societal labels, and then impose society’s stereotype of that label on them.

But I guess in our ever increasing, fast-paced, corporate society we are all looking for the least number of words to say the most about either ourselves, others, or the world around us.

I may label myself, and depending on the day that label is different.
I try not to label myself by my profession, though I do under certain circumstances. If I label myself based on my interests and hobbies (creative writing, quilting, chainmail), I usually use the generic ‘artist’
When needing to label myself sexually, I have tended to jump back and forth between a few: gay, as it is the most common, and requires the least discussion about; bi, when I want another to know that I am still attracted to women (though it tends not to be overly sexual); and most recently queer. Part of why I find it difficult to label myself sexually is that I am much more attracted to a person’s spirit, personality, and intelligence, rather than their looks. That does not mean I’m not attracted to the way people look, just that to have a long term relationship (friendship or committed romantic relationship), there must be some form of attraction on that deeper level. This is partly why I consider my self queer…

And so I am slowly taking on Queer as my label of choice, because it not only defines my sexuality, but aspects of my personality too.

From The Oxford Handy Dictionary (© 1978, Sixth Edition reprinted 1987):
queer
a., v., & n. 1. a. Strange, odd, eccentric; of questionable character, shady, suspect; out of sorts, giddy or faint, (feeling queer); (sl., esp. of man) homosexual. 2. v.t. (sl.) Put out or order. 3. n. (sl.) (Esp. male) homosexual. [orig. uncert.]

And I am definitely a strange, odd, and eccentric person.